post in progress

A year ago, my objectivity and unfettered dedication to run a casual hardcore guild ended. During the 10 months to follow, we hung on by the very thin lines of connect thrown out by a very small minority of dedicated hardcore gamers. Toward the end of my jaunt as guild leader, my primary motivation for logging in was to prove a few people wrong -- you know how i am about proving stupid people wrong, right? After i felt satisfied in the completion of this goal, the only things holding me there were the connections i thought i had to several people. Enter Dee (the voice of reason)... he started planting seeds of truth and clarity. People in the guild watered these seeds so well, they grew record heights in record time. I really knew very little about the people with whom i played this game. I kept trying to forge real connections to them, but most of them spurned my advances, leaving me with little to cling to. If i want fake fake friends, i'll go to a role playing server and be someone completely different. I'm a stay at home mom with so few connections to people in real life; i feel a need to have real conversations with people over the age of 6 and honesty is required.

Every lie is wasted time and my time is worth more that which i was getting from the guild there at the end. Those who we put in charge were annoying the shit out of me, but being that we didn't want the job and none of the other people we asked wanted it either, we felt like the best thing to do was to just let them continue on their own path without us. While this was our goal in the first place, we were really hoping to be able to at least feel proud of instilling good values and management practices in people. As it turned out, the new guild is mismanaged (by our definitions) and it's people are mistreated. Some key people have left because of it and several others are there for lack of something better or out of perceived obligation (which i know all too well), which makes me very sad.

Anyway, we distanced ourselves from wow and are slowly creeping back into it -- me a bit more slowly than dee. We're in a bit of an odd place right now... Most of the people we like playing with and feel connected to are in the guild that our guild became after we left, but even if they did want us back, their raiding hours simply won't work for us and neither of us are convinced we'd be treated fairly. The hours didn't work when we were the ones who made the hours and they've made them a half hour worse since then nd i've already been treated unfairly, so if we decide to join a guild, it's highly likely to not be obsidian. As tab has said numerous times, the guild you're in has little or no bearing on who your friends are. We need to find a guild (preferably on skywall) with later raiding hours and fair and transparent leadership. Will the people we consider friends still consider us friends if we don't join their guild? Would it be better for us to just fly solo if we decide to again make wow a part of our lives so as to not cause any upset?

Meh... after having just typed that out, the answer is clear... who the hell cares?! If they are our friends, they'll understand that the raiding hours don't work for us and will still call on us for friend stuff... the'll only get all huffy if they're selfish bastages :) Thanks for helping me with that.

(not spell checked. typed on laptop. may fix later)